I know, I know, it’s low-hanging fruit to take shots at Rachael Ray, but she keeps coming up in daily conversation and I’ve gotta get this out of my system. I wish Isa would just challenge her to a boxing match or something.

  1. She spells her name stupidly. I know, it’s not her fault. I should blame her parents. But every time I see that extra “a” in there, I get the same twinge I get when people spell “Michael” as “Micheal” (being that it’s part of my last name, so I’m a tad hypersensitive).
  2. EVOO. The fact she can take the enormously annoying acronym-turned-catchphrase and turn it into a marketing gimmick drives me nuts.
  3. She’s every-freakin’-where. She’s on boxes of Triscuits for Buddha’s sake.
  4. She’s an idiot. Her cookbook 365: No Repeats (we got it as a gift… it’s being regifted to my sister who, for some unknown reason, not only tolerates Rachael Ray, but seems to like her) is about as vegan un-friendly as it gets. Sure, there’s a “vegetarian” section, but everything’s smothered in cheese. The book is filled with hideously disgusting recipes like Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf Patties, Bacon Wrapped Beef Tenderloin, and Chicken Cutlets on Buttermilk-Cheddar-Chorizo Biscuits, but there is a sole tofu recipe in the book that’s actually vegan. How does she ruin it? By adding this absurd commentary: “I really do not get tofu, but some of my friends do. This is for them.” You don’t “get tofu”?! What is there to get, you moron? It’s a food. Vishnu have mercy.

No more “x reasons I…” or “y ways to…” posts this week. I promise.