Helpful Ordering Friends

16 Responses

1. Cat

   28|Jun|2005 1

   Uh oh.

   Okay, I’ll stop.

2. char

   28|Jun|2005 2

   I’ll usually go to a Vegan restaraunt and then I ‘ll find something to eat to keep from making my Vegan friends feel like they have a disease or something, because obviously they don’t I just tend to be overhelpful to them.

3. Meredith

   28|Jun|2005 3

   Hallelujah! My recent vacation with family was full of HOF’ing on the part of my in-laws. It drove me up the wall! As a vegan, you probably get it more than I do as an ovo-lacto. But damn, I know what you’re talking about. Thanks for the concern, but I can read the menu myself! Oh, especially annoying is when somebody, while engaging in HOF activity by looking over the menu on my behalf instead of hurrying up and picking their own entree, asks do you eat fish? Let me read the menu, please. I know how to read and I also know what I eat. The only time I might need help is at a buffet, where I’m not exactly sure what everything is. But if it’s just words on a page, I can get along just fine, thanks.

4. sennoma

   28|Jun|2005 4

   Okay, I’ll stop.

   Not on my account. It doesn’t bother me at all.

   If people want to be helpful, that’s great; if they’re not actually helping, I’ll just say “gimme a minute, I’m used to doing this, I’ll find something”. I fail to see what’s to be pissed off about.

5. Nic

   28|Jun|2005 5

   Guilty as charged. I know I do this whenever I am worried that someone won’t be able to find something they’ll like on the menu, veggie or otherwise. I do make a mental note never to do it if someone gets annoyed with me, though.

6. Ryan

   28|Jun|2005 6

   I’ll just say “gimme a minute, I’m used to doing this, I’ll find something”

   That’s a good response, too.

7. Ryan

   28|Jun|2005 7

   Here’s something I wrote in my e-mail to Cat that I probably should have also written in the original post:

   It’s not one of those things that pisses me off — it’s just an observation. You generally won’t find people doing the same thing for someone that’s, say, diabetic or allergic to wheat. People will assume that they know what to look for and what to watch out for, but for some reason that often doesn’t extend to vegetarians.

8. Extagen

   28|Jun|2005 8

   Nice blog. It’s not just being a vegetarian. I too have a problem because I am dieting. For me to lose weight I have to eat almost nothing! Yet I still enjoy dining out for the social atmosphere. Unfortunately I can’t tell you the number of times people “twist my arm” to try to eat something that is not on my diet!

   Since watching closely what I eat I have more energy and stamina. I feel so much better. I sleep better. My blood pressure has dropped. My stomach ailments have all but gone…..yet inspite of this my friends keep encouraging me to eat the foods I know I can’t. Why do they do this? Why can’t they just appreciate my company? Why is it so important to them to eat the same stuff they are eating?

9. Amber

   28|Jun|2005 9

   after years and years of this, I too agree that it can be a touch annoying. A lovely gesture, but I’m a big girl now and I can manage.

   I find that it usually starts with “oh, I’m not sure such-and-such restaurant has anything you can eat” and my response is always not to worry about me, there is always something for the vegetarian, and if there isn’t, I ask the cook to make me something! You’d be surprised with how often a cook gets giddy to make something out of the ordinary.

   Nice blog! :)

10. Isa

    29|Jun|2005 10

    Wow, no I feel bad. I’ve never had a HOF!

11. Shananigans

    30|Jun|2005 11

    Thank god I’m not the only one. My boyfriend’s mother has a tendency to do this. I know she means well and is trying to be helpful, but I am a big girl and can read a menu all by myself thank you very much. I think the other reason it bothers me is because the suggestions are usually made with a certain about of pity implied in the tone. Like “Oh, there’s so little you can eat. Poor you.” Not eating meat is a choice that I’m very happy with, it’s not like I have a disease, sheesh.

12. Henry

    01|Jul|2005 12

    No one has ever done that for me :(

    I must have selfish friends.

13. Meg

    01|Jul|2005 13

    quote: You’d be surprised with how often a cook gets giddy to make something out of the ordinary.

    Wow. You should read the Food Whore (http://www.thefoodwhore.com/) for her take on that - she gets quite colorful when describing her attitude to people who want modifications on the menu. Then again, maybe she’d be more patient if it had a dietary reason instead of just wanting to get the lobster dish on the cheap!

14. Ryan

    01|Jul|2005 14

    I’ve always been interested in hearing a chef’s take on that, Meg. I know every “guide to being vegetarian” I’ve ever read describes chefs and anxious and willing to cater to your every whim, but it seems to me that may not be the case.

    Now, while I had a good experience like that, I’ve also read twits like Anthony Bourdain referring to vegans as “a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn.”

    I’d imagine most chefs are somewhere in between.

15. simer

    05|Jul|2005 15

    Simer
    I do that too and it is not out of pity or anything. I guess these kind of suggestions always come around amongst friends whether u r vegan or not.like,” hey i tried this new restaurant, pretty good u shuld check it out.” or i have tried this new dish at this place,taste good,give it a try.”so making it an issue for vegan ppl we r simply catagorizing them and making it a big deal. Amongest friends i don’t think there are any obligations u like some suggestion u take it if not it is not end of the world.

16. Jeannette

    20|Jul|2005 16

    I’d rather have an HOF than what I have now, which is a bunch of people telling me I HAVE to eat meat or I won’t get enough protien, and I’d better watch it b/c I’ll get sick, yada yada yada.

    I’ve not had milk since Kindergarten (I’m 26) and no one has ever complained that I don’t get enough calcium (I generally don’t eat much dairy).

    *sigh*

    I wish people would just leave me alone about it!