Finger food

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Charles Miller, over at The Fishbowl asks his readers a question:

If those kooky stem-cell researchers were to discover a way to grow human meat in a vat, such that it was never at any point a real, living human being…

Would you eat it?

Oddly, just last night I decided that if I ever get rich, I’m going to develop a line of soy-based human meat analogues. “Do no harm when you eat this arm!” Think of it… there would be a whole new classification of vegetarians: vegan cannibals.

Of course, the downside would be that you’d probably have to eat a real body part or two during the development of these new products to make sure you got the taste and texture down. At the very least, you’d need a friend that was a cannibal. And, really, having a cannibal for a friend can be a dangerous thing.

So tell me, Veg Blog readers, is there a market for Tofingers and Toe-fu?

10 Responses to “Finger food”

  1. Levi

    I always have thought it odd how there are vegetarian versions of meat products. The funniest (and oddest) thing I ever saw was in Scottland a vegetarian haggis! I guess it depends on why one becomes a vegetarian. If one’s motivation is purely health related, I guess eating a veggie burger, a soy-dog, etc. would make perfect sense.

    In a way it is oddly analogous to how some in the low-carb movement are hell-bent on creating low-carb versions of things that are pure carbs – like candy. Why would you want to perpetuate your addiction to something that has made you unhealthy in the first place?

    I guess the answer is that most of us like the taste of what we are giving up, and so want to keep having our cake and eating it too, but at least as far as low-carb goes, it does feel a lot better to not try to mimic the taste of these things by artificial means. Your sense of taste gets a lot sharper when you go without highly sweet (or salty) foods, be they artificially sweetened or naturally. The natural sweetness in foods are there, but you’ll never taste them if you cater to the addiction to very sweet tastes…

  2. Arvind

    Such fake meat products have always turned me off. Why do people crave for fake meat when there are plenty of genuinely creative vegetarian alternatives? Be adventurous and try out ethnic food: you’ll be surprised to see the number of vegetarian items in the menu compared to the miserly selection you would find in a typical American/European restaurant.

    I am digressing and this might be an extreme opinion, but frankly, I find that vegetarianism is more than a way of life: it is human evolution. Back in the cave-man ages, there was cannibalism and as sense began to percolate into the thick primitive skulls, they progressed to eating non-human meat. Some, like us, have evolved into higher planes of thought and practice where consumption of meat is considered anathema. Unfortunately, a majority of the modern day carnivores are still mired in antediluvian eating habits.

  3. invicid

    Most of these fake meat items are made for yuppies who want to look up with the times. They’re also quite popular with the health conscious. I think the best reason for them to remain around, however, is for the newly converted vegetarian/vegan. When I turned vegetarian about a year ago, this stuff was all I ate. Think of it like niccoderm (sp?) for meat!

  4. Futurist

    “…soy-based human meat analogues…”

    “Oh no! Humlent Green is made from… soya!”

    :D

  5. Jumbuck

    I wonder about the health implications of the whole idea. I understand BSE (Mad Cow Disease) comes from cows who eat cow protien. I have also heard that a certain cannibal tribe have contracted a similar disease…

    Perhaps its not a good idea to eat your own species!

    Jumbuck
    http://www.mmmrecipes.com/

  6. Sergiy Grynko

    (Jumbuck: the diseases you’re referring to only come from eating brain tissue.)

    I don’t think there’s much market for faux human flesh, but plenty for different-for-the-sake-of-being-different things like soy iguana-on-a-stick (everyone who ever played Fallout will buy one, at the least). Or faux bull testicles, or other world delicasies that, in their normal form, are too yucky even for most meat-eaters.

  7. Denise

    I don’t think there’s a market, but I would love to see adds for toe-fu. That’s such a cute pun.

  8. Nika

    Looks like someone’s right on top of this marketing genius.

    http://www.eathufu.com/
    Hufu: The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative!

  9. 2L8

    I just had this idea! I have been baking the water out and jerking Tofu for the last 5 years. I needed a name. The Daily Show has commercials depicting just what I created along time ago. I like the advertisability but even better is to see an appendage in the meat section of the grocery store. I think even meat eaters would have more empathy and if they like the product CONVERTING VEGETERIANS one by one.

  10. 2L8

    I just had this idea! I have been baking the water out and jerking Tofu for the last 5 years. I needed a name. The Daily Show has commercials depicting just what I created along time ago. I like the advertisability but even better is to see an appendage in the meat section of the grocery store. I think even meat eaters would have more empathy and if they like the product CONVERTING VEGETARIANS one by one.

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