USDA: Fries are fresh

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Oh good Lord.

Remember when Reagan declared that ketchup was a vegetable? Well, the USDA has done Ronnie one better by proclaiming frozen french fries a “fresh vegetable.”

“While plaintiff argued that battered-coated French fries are processed products, they have not been ‘processed’ to the point that they are no longer ‘fresh,’ ” attorneys for the USDA argued.

“It is still considered ‘fresh’ because it is not preserved. It retains its perishable quality.”

Wonderful.

Finger food

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Charles Miller, over at The Fishbowl asks his readers a question:

If those kooky stem-cell researchers were to discover a way to grow human meat in a vat, such that it was never at any point a real, living human being…

Would you eat it?

Oddly, just last night I decided that if I ever get rich, I’m going to develop a line of soy-based human meat analogues. “Do no harm when you eat this arm!” Think of it… there would be a whole new classification of vegetarians: vegan cannibals.

Of course, the downside would be that you’d probably have to eat a real body part or two during the development of these new products to make sure you got the taste and texture down. At the very least, you’d need a friend that was a cannibal. And, really, having a cannibal for a friend can be a dangerous thing.

So tell me, Veg Blog readers, is there a market for Tofingers and Toe-fu?

Raw, not for everyone

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Raw food diet: As a way of life, simply not so hot

This Chicago Tribune article takes a look at the raw food lifestyle. The author decides it’s not for her:

But raw, which is supposed to encourage a simple life and a return to nature, is just too complicated for its own good. It’s great in theory but has strayed seriously from its roots. Not only are pricey appliances like a juicer, dehydrator and blender helpful if you want to eat more than lettuce, but it’s also a labor- and time-intensive lifestyle that requires soaking and sprouting various foods and recognizing deadly herbs.

I think Charlie Trotter, author of Raw has it right:

“There’s nothing wrong with mixing a little raw and cooked food,” Trotter said during a cooking demonstration. “I just want great food. And by the way, I want to live to eat another day.”

Cow magnets, but not for your fridge

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Ever wonder what types of weird things dairy farmers and cattle ranchers buy to help them do their job?

Cow magnets.

And, no, these aren’t cute little magnets in the shape of a cow that say “Bessie” on them. These phallic devices are used to help prevent “Hardware Disease,” a common ailment that occurs when the cows ingest metal while feeding (from staples, bits of bailing wire, etc.). When Hardware Disease hits, the cows lose their appetite and stop making milk or gaining weight. So what do these cow magnets do?

“Cow magnets help prevent this disease by attracting stray metal from the folds and crevices of the rumen and reticulum.”

Yes, but how do they work?

According to one commenter: “[T]he magnets are administered orally… the magnet stays in the cow’s stomach, keeping the hardware in a (relatively) safe clump.”

Well, there you go, then.

(via)